So, You’ve Got a Not-So-Great Roommate?

By: Sophia Johnette

Fear no longer—here’s a how-to guide for dealing with your not-so-great roommates (coming from a highly qualified person as I have had my fair share of roommate horror stories).

Don’t Let it Fester

If you’re anything like me, you’re a pacifist and just want to get along. And in doing so, sometimes we silence our needs and wants so that there’s “peace” amongst the group. This isn’t peace, though. It’s you subjecting yourself to unpeaceful sensations while the other person is at peace, continuing on with what they’re doing.

Listen, I’m not saying that every little thing needs to be fixed, but when it really bothers you, say something. Don’t be like me and let it fester, because one day it’s going to blow up and you’re not going to be able to control that.

Keep it Quiet (that you’re having roommate issues)

I don’t mean don’t tell people when they’re doing something that makes you uncomfortable. I mean this in the sense that you shouldn’t be going around your campus or your friend group, sharing these issues. I say this because my roommate was pretty popular on campus (little did I know), and I nearly saved myself a dozen times by not complaining to her friends (who I didn’t know were her friends) about how I didn’t like to room with her. So yeah, keep it quiet.

Of course, you can talk to your family and close friends, you just need to watch what you’re saying and who you’re saying it to.

Stand Up For Yourself!

So my one roommate basically gave me no room in our dormitory. I had to ask to have the knob on the door for my bath towel, and I have less than a foot of skinny space to put all my stuff, though even that is not always guaranteed.

My biggest regret is that I did not stand up for myself. This happened time and time again (like when she’d steal my food without asking, and then I’d have no breakfast). Learn from my mistakes and stand up for yourself—you deserve it.

Steer Clear

What I mean by this is keeping the interactions to a minimum. For instance, there’s some days I cannot stand to be around my roommate. So I just try to stay out of her way. I keep to myself in my little room, or I go home for the weekend. Sometimes the best medicine for a bad roommate is distance.

While you’re “hiding” from your roommate, you can pamper yourself with a 2000s movie night (click on the link to find some movie inspo). Make a night out of it by getting yourself a gift basket or treating yourself to some jewelry (shopping always perks me up, so I definitely recommend some retail therapy. Get yourself a long lasting initial necklace from Jane Jewels, or treat yourself to Tesori d’Oriente bath cream (they also have lotion and perfumes).

You can always busy yourself with new activities! Check our this article on discovering hobbies and passions.

And just know, just because you don’t like living with them doesn’t mean that they’re a bad person or that you’re a bad person for feeling that way. Sometimes people just don’t mix, and that’s okay! It’s nobody’s fault.

Now, if you’re having roommate trouble where you feel unsafe or in danger, ignore these rules and immediately go to the authorities. And if you feel emotionally unsafe and you’re in a college dorm, talk to your RA (residence hall assistant) about it. My freshman year roommate was bad and I would hide at the lake just to have some peace (and keep in mind I’d be walking fifteen minutes there late at night, so yeah, not safe at all—don’t do this). My RA got me out of that situation super quickly, and she even offered me a place to sleep—temporary housing—for one night in case I couldn’t be in there any extra time (because I would be moving out the next day). Anyway, what I’m trying to say is:

it’s okay to reach out for help. And no, you’re not being dramatic.