By: Shaylin Smith
For many couples, summer means watching sunsets, dates on the beach, or vacations. But, for those in a relationship that are heading home from school, traveling for work, or spending the summer away, it's a time where you have to say goodbye to your significant other for a few weeks or months.
Transitioning to long-distance after spending time with your partner on a daily basis is a huge adjustment, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t do very well with change. I have always seen change as a negative thing, when things are going well with an established routine that you love, change can be scary and uncomfortable. But I don’t want to waste my summer away counting down the days until we’re together again or waste time wishing things were different. So, here are some ways that you can best manage a long distance relationship over the summer, and make the best of it.
1. Set Expectations
Before parting ways with your partner, I think it is really good to have a discussion about what you both expect from each other during this time. Voicing your expectations to your partner and discussing how each of you can make this time away easier on the other can ease anxiety and make the time apart less scary. Expressing your feelings and hearing your partner’s thoughts is essential at any time of life, but especially in this scenario. You are in this together, so work with each other and discuss the ways to best meet each other’s needs during your time apart.
2. Create a Communication Plan
I find that the best way to maintain connection with your significant other when you are away from them is to create a plan of when and how you are going to communicate. From my experience, boys are not the best texters.... Which is why committing to a time to FaceTime or call is so important. Personally, I think snapchat hurts feelings for no reason. Being left on delivered and then checking their snap maps just to see their active is something we have all experienced. I find that this doesn’t bother me as much if we facetime or call regularly. Of course you both need freedom to do your own thing, but touching base when you wake up or before you go to bed to debrief about your day can be encouraging and helpful. Seeing each other’s face or hearing each other’s voice is so much better than communicating over snap chat or occasionally texting.
3. Remain Confident In Your Relationship
When doing long-distance it’s easy to think your partner is MIA or uninterested, but know that they are not. He loves you and you are both adjusting to a new way of managing your relationship. It will take a little bit of time to get into a routine and find what works best for both of you. Just because he is not talking to you as much as he usually would does not mean he has lost feelings or doesn't love you. He would not have committed to a long distance relationship if he didn’t want this with you. Remember that and be confident in yourself, as well as your partner.
4. Keep Yourself Busy
It is summer time, so enjoy it!! Just because your partner is not with you does not mean you can’t enjoy your time alone. I love being around people but learning to love being alone has been one of the best things for me and my relationship. Take up reading a book, watch a new tv show, spend time with friends, workout, and do things that benefit you. Appreciate the time you have alone, and take advantage of it. You spend so much of your time worrying about your partner, so take this time to worry about yourself!
5. Enjoy Time at Home
There are so many times throughout the school year that I have said “I miss home” or “I wish I was home”. If you are home, savor the few months you have there instead of counting down the days till you can leave and be back with your partner. Go do the things you enjoy doing, go to your favorite restaurant, beach, or coffee shop. Wake up each day with the intention of making the most of the time you have in the place that you are in.
6. Spend time With Your Friends and Family
It’s hard to say no to your partner, spending time with them is probably one of your favorite things to do and with that comes spending less time with friends or family. Take advantage of this, spend time with your friends and family. Maybe reach out to a few people you miss and haven’t seen in a while and see what they are up to. Surround yourself with the people you love and miss while you are away from them. This will keep you occupied but also make you happy!
When you're constantly around someone and your busy schedule is in control of you, it is hard to improve yourself or work on some of your personal goals. Now is your time! For me, I have summer goals of trying out running, learning to cook more meals, and watching the sunrise once a week. These are all things that I am not able to do during the school year, but with newfound independence and a summer to myself, it is the perfect time to try new things. Focus on yourself, take care of yourself, enjoy yourself, and make the most of your summer.
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