By: Rylee Cassidy
College is a unique time for everyone, almost in limbo between high school and going out into the corporate world. Approaching my first week of college I was fresh out of a breakup and immediately back into the dating game (a little too soon), and was fully expecting to have my first semester surrounded by new flings and boys. This is all I had known, and after begging for a relationship (and finally getting one), I was comfortable in this new life. Once I had actually gotten to college I soon became exhausted of the idea of a relationship and fully reluctant to put the work in to even talk to anyone. This was unlike something I had ever experienced before, after all those years of younger me pining after male attention, I had finally discovered something different about myself. With that being said, here are some noticeable improvements I have seen in my personality and mood after this new change.
Say Goodbye to Screen Time
One of the biggest changes I have seen since this new era was that overall I am on my phone less. Although this could also be due to me having more work during the week, I am not on my phone constantly texting or Snapchatting guys. When I get into a “thing” with someone I tend to put my entire heart into the relationship (even if it’s a casual one), and this usually accompanies frequent texting, calling, Facetime, and the whole works. Now that I am voluntarily working on myself, I am on my phone less making meaningless conversation and when I am on my phone, I am reaching out to those I do not hear from as much, therefore strengthening those relationships.
Going Out is Stress-Free
Many girls may have had the same experience as me where we expect to meet a cute stranger and have a fling for the night, but are disappointed when that does not happen. Now this is nolonger the case. I used to worry about how I looked or how I acted when I went out to cater to the male gaze, but as of late I can be present in the moment with my friends, making memories to last a lifetime. Additionally, tons of girls with boyfriends can relate to the fact of feeling guilty for going out when their boyfriend is not there, but with this new tactic we can be attentive and focus on our feelings during a fun time out.
I Know How I Want To Be Treated
Relationships are hard, especially if you are not in the right one for you. After being in a
relationship where I was not appreciated, once I got out I had a whole new list of how I knew I should have been treated. In the aftermath of that experience, don’t get me wrong I was very upset, but it made me stronger and more confident as a person. I did not desperately wish for a relationship just to have one, I avoided the topic as a whole. I was going to stay committed to being single until I found someone who actually matched me. It is incredibly important to remember your individualism while in a relationship and know that you are worth something in or out of a relationship. It is a shame that sometimes being treated badly is the only way to figure out how we actually want to be treated.
After incorporating these new reminders into my routine, I can say that my life has been more peaceful now than it has been in a long time. I am taking some much needed time to reinforce my platonic and familial relationships, as well as my personal relationship (all ones that seem to get overlooked). This is not to say that I am committed to never dating or seeing a man ever again, it just means that I am taking a little time off and not actively looking for a relationship. Finally to sum up, in the words of a great TikTok sound,
“Nobody's son is stressing me out!”