By: Sophia Johnette
Unless you count my boyfriend from middle school, I’ve been single for twenty-two years. In my long season of singleness, I’ve learned to actually enjoy it. As an experienced single person, I feel qualified to give you my tips and tricks for how to navigate singleness and actually enjoy it.
Me Dates
I learned this in my freshman year of college (which was the loneliest year of college for me). I don’t remember how I came up with the idea, but I would take myself on “ me dates” (aka a date without another person) to Starbucks or to the lake. In your late teens and early twenties, I think the most important skill you can learn is to enjoy spending time with yourself.
You don’t need another
person to have a
good time
or to go enjoy life.
Comparisons
It’s hard to not compare your situation to others. There’s been times where I’ve wondered why everyone has someone except for me. But here’s the thing: just because you have someone doesn’t mean you’re treated like someone. AKA: when you look over at someone’s yard and see the grass is greener, you only can see the outward appearances…you don’t know what happens on that grass. Don’t look at other people and wish for what they have. Number one: you never know what you’re wishing for.
Number two: if you constantly
compare your life to someone
else’s, life is going
to pass you by.
Join Clubs
The loneliness that we feel when we’re single can easily be remedied by filling up your day. If you’re in high school or college, join some clubs. Find new things to do and fill up some of your alone time (still make time for “me time”). You’ll make more friends and meet new people. Socialization is essential for life. We need people, even when we pretend we don’t.
Finding hobbies is also a great idea. It’s a great way to build confidence and make more connections with people. Here’s an article on different hobbies to try.
Find Love…
The thing is, love doesn’t always mean romance. Love is all around us. You are full of love not because you have someone to love, you’re full of love because of all the things that make you who you are. Spread your love to people—volunteer, spend time with friends and loved ones, and be kind to random people for no reason.
Sometimes the best way to
brighten your life is by
brightening someone else’s.
You can make things yourself, tell people kind things, or you can buy kindness coins to hand out to people. You can also hand out motivational cards. What we put out in the world is given back to us.
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